notice to northerners moving south:

a friend sent this to me and it made me laugh :)

1. Just because you can drive on snow and ice does not mean Southerners can. Stay home the two days of the year it snows.

2. If you do run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in the cab of a four-wheel pick-up with a 12-pack of beer and a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them. Just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.

3. You can ask Southerners for directions, but unless you already know the positions of key hills, trees and rocks, you're better off trying to find it yourself.

4. Remember: Y'all is singular. All y'all is plural. All y'all's is plural possessive.

5. Get used to hearing, "You ain't from around here, are you?"

6. If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y'all, watch this!" Stay out of his way. These are likely the last words he will ever say, or worse still, that you will ever hear.

7. Most Southerners do not use turn signals; they ignore those who do. In fact, if you see a signal blinking on a car with a Southern license plate, you may rest assured that it was already turned on when the car was purchased.

8. If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the most minuscule accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery store. It does not matter if you need anything from the store. It is just something you're supposed to do.

9. Satellite dishes are very popular in the South. When you purchase one, it is positioned directly in front of the house. This is logical, bearing in mind that the dish cost considerably more than the house, and should, therefore, be prominently displayed.

10.Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later how to use it.

11.If you forget a Southerner's name, refer to him (or her) as 'Bubba'. You have a 75% chance of being right.

12.Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store.

13.If it can't be fried in bacon grease, it ain't worth cooking, let alone eating.

14.Northerners can be identified by the spit on the inside of their car's windshield that comes from yelling at other drivers.

15.Florida is not considered a Southern State. There are far more Yankees than Southerners living there.

16.If you are cursing the person driving 15 mph in a 55 mph zone, directly in the middle of the road, remember, many folks learned to drive on a model of vehicle known as John Deere, and this is the proper speed and lane position for the vehicle.