how is it that we make friends?
does it have to do with how outgoing we are as a person? how friendly we are to people?
are friendships formed through intentional actions - how hard we work to make them happen?
or do they just sort of happen? like there's just an automatic connection between individuals - whether it be through common interest, similar personality, or maybe there is a defining moment in the relationship where something happens or is said that transform individuals from acquaintences to friends.
how is it that we make enemies?
is it all because of our actions? someone does something or says something against another and that makes them enemies? or maybe they didn't do or say enough...didn't meet an unspoken expectation.
misunderstanding? judgement?
is it a relationship that is built over time or does it just happen? like a negative first impression permanently puts people against each other. did they have any chance of being something else?
can a person be received differently by different types of people? absolutely. can that person do anything to change they way they are seen by others? i guess it depends on the others.
can friendships be forced from an enemy?
if you do all the Biblical things - pray for them, love them, etc. no matter how difficult it is, can you make them love you back?
probably not.
but should that matter?
7 comments:
Gosh, you're making me think now!
I don't know what I did (or didn't do) but I love my Sniffles and I miss you dearly! :) <3 POOT
i've been pondering your questions. when i think about all my true and dear friends, i realize that they just happened. (humanly speaking, of course. obviously they were orchestrated by the Lord.)
but, they were not something i made happen or forced. there wasn't any plan i followed to make a connection with someone.
and, to be very honest, some of my closest friends over the years, are people that i never would have imagined i would ever be friends with!
finally - my very deepest and dearest friends are just that because of how God enables us to share very honestly the spiritual mountains and valleys of life.
friends come into your life when you aren't expecting it, and often when you aren't seeking it.
and i think we are most ready to HAVE great friends, when we are ready to BE a great friend.
p.s. friends can be life-long.... or "seasonal" too. losing a "seasonal" friend can be very, very sad. and sometimes can be kind of liberating too.
love you. your mama and friend.
it's interesting to ponder, for sure. & interestingly enough, contrary to your mom, my 2 closest friends (you & deanna) i DECIDED i was going to be your friend. & i DECIDED the 1st day i met deanna that i was going to be her friend.
this is interesting b/c my 1st instinct was that friends just happen. but when i started looking at my friends i realized...maybe not. for me it was a conscious decision. so maybe it works differently for different people.
i think, for me...friends happen. friends of convenience. hang out buddies. but GOOD friends have developed when i've made a conscious decision to be their friend. to make this work. to get to know them better.
i like it when i have revelations about myself :) or revelations in general haha.
in the words of mr. gru in dispicable me.....LIGHT-BULB hahahaha..you'll have to watch it ;)
good discussion here - i hope more will comment!
as i think through the friends i consider closest to me, the majority of them i can think of a defining moment in our relationship where i knew, okay, we're friends. most of these are with people at LU with whom i share similar interests and personality traits. we were similar people on a similar journey and we just clicked. i choose to believe it was a God thing because they are people i would NEVER have imagined i would be friends with - SO glad He knows better than i!
but there are others in my life where friendship has just happened gradually over time - you spend enough time with someone, run in the same circles as them long enough, and eventually you will end up establishing a relationship.
i can't really think of a specific relationship i SOUGHT OUT and intentionally tried to develop out of nothing. but i know that there are people with whom i had a relationship and i intentionally pursued it and maintained it because i knew if i didn't it would die out.
i would say that the friends who are closest to me are those with whom i've shared spiritual highs and lows. the people who aren't afraid to talk about their spiritual struggles and successes and their relationship to the daily drama of life. the people who have walked with me (and who i have walked with) as we discover God His perfect plan.
Well, I've pondered this some more. Both your mom and flipflopfanatic make excellent points. Most of my friendships, initially, just happened. But the ones that have meant the most to me have been those where the sharing about life's ups and downs and struggles and joys is transparent and mutual. I love investing in the lives of my dearest friends through prayer! When I pray for someone they are on my mind a lot, and I grow to love them more. Prayer is really an incredible demonstration of love!
Having moved several times in my younger adult years, I have friends in many places and from many chapters of my life. My closest long distance friends don't make demands of me or seem to have expectations of how often we talk. We may only talk a few times a year, but each time it's as if no time has passed, the connection is just instant. I love friends that don't make me feel guilty! :0)
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