let's just be clear.
in my mind, getting up on stage and doing something musical does not automatically qualify as a performance. a musical performance is when your goal is to entertain the audience. music ministry is when your goal is to help engage or encourage the audience in their personal worship - acting as a go-between for the Spirit to work.
this being said, i struggle when people come up to me after a worship service and say things like "worship was just great today" or "i just love it when you lead worship" or "great job this morning"
somehow simply saying "you're welcome" or "thank you" doesn't seem right to me.
it's like they're missing the point.
i could go on and on about this...and i think i just might because it's my blog and if you don't want to read then just leave ;)
"worship was just great today"
what makes worship "great"?
honestly.
this has been a huge pet peeve of mine for a long time.
it has been my observation that many people judge "great" worship by whether their favorite worship leader was leading or whether we sang their favorite songs and not by whether the Spirit was working in them or not.
granted, i am not one to judge the hearts and motives of others.
but really! when people tell me that worship was great, it comes across in a way that seems like they are paying me a compliment when really that's not what it should be at all.
i think from now on when people say that worship was great i'm going to ask them WHY it was great. why specifically was it great to them? how did the Spirit work in them through the music?
hmmmm...
"i just love it when you lead worship"
many people have said this to me - many people who i know personally and who i know have good intentions behind their words. i do understand that different worship styles speak differently to different people. but that's why i love that we have several different worship leaders at our church! we are all so unique and bring so much to the table and oftentimes when people tell me they prefer me over some of the others i get semi-defensive of my peer leaders. some of them have quite a bit of negative stereotype following them around and it makes me sad because i know their hearts and the passion behind why they do what they do. i am often at a loss for words when people say this to me. i'm not even sure what they're expecting me to say in return! do they want me to say "thank you"? i cannot in good conscience do that because i feel like it takes the attention off of God and puts it onto me.
maybe from now on i will smile and simply thank them for their encouragement.
i dunno. i still feel funny about that one.
"great job this morning"
this one is hard too. this is almost ALWAYS intended as a compliment. and this is where the performance vs. ministry model comes in. if i were giving a recital or a concert or a performance of any kind then saying "great job" would be perfectly appropriate. but when it's ministry??? first off, if i accepted this compliment, i feel like it would mean i was accepting credit for what happened on that stage. as if i had intended to please them. secondly, it takes the focus away from God and puts it on me. it was not me personally who spoke to them. it was the Holy Spirit.
still not sure what to say in response to this one. i've tried doing the "it's all God" thing but i don't want to be rude and not "accept the compliment". i think i just hate compliments.
i think to me accepting a compliment for leading worship is robbing God of the glory He deserves. the glory that i most definitely do not deserve. i want to serve the congregation and minister to them through the gifts God has given me, but i do NOT want them to miss the point and put me on a pedestal and exalt me simply because they like the sound of the music on sunday morning .
maybe i'm being too sensitive.
or maybe i'm not sensitive enough...
any other thoughts out there?
5 comments:
your thoughts are spot on, girl. i love how you've developed follow-up questions when people try to compliment you (i esp. love the question "why was it so great?")
"first off, if i accepted this compliment, i feel like it would mean i was accepting credit for what happened on that stage. as if i had intended to please them. secondly, it takes the focus away from God and puts it on me."
yes, BUT... ok. i've been up way to long & it's way too late for me to be posting anything of significance, but i'm going to try it.
you put a lot of thought into songs, lyrics, TRANSITIONS (of which i knew nothing before talking with you), practice, etc. God obviously gets ultimate credit & praise, but can't you receive a compliment for doing your part? God does his part, but he wants you to do your part too. And if people appreciate that, so be it :)
it seems funny to me....this whole worship ministries thing. cuz on the one hand, it is all about bringing God praise. but on the other... it is very much about the technical transition stuff. so when you ARE putting effort into this...why is it weird to be getting complimented for it?
i can most easily see why you'd have trouble with the "i love when you lead worship" compliment... b/c i agree with what you said about different people bringing different things to the table.
these thoughts are in the preliminary stages, so just take them as food for thought.
i'm tired & going to bed. goodnight. :)
i always feel funny "complimenting" DR on a good sermon. i try to really say what i mean, "that was a powerful service today... the HS was really at work through your teaching."
i think we are very guilty of not thinking thru what we say and also what we sing.
for example, on sunday we sang "i surrender all". that's a very, very difficult song to sing if one is being completely honest before God. i usually don't sing it out loud, but sing in my spirit, "help me surrender all". but then, even then, i have to pause and consider.... do i REALLY want Him to help me surrender all? becuz if i ask, He will. and how does He do that? through tough stuff. and i'm tired of tough stuff. sigh.
we need to really think before speaking. and think about what we are saying when we worship.
oh, i thot of another song. i love it, yet i have to sing different words. it's the Step By Step song by rich mullens. "i will follow You all of my days." i definitely can not on my own strength follow Christ on any day, much less all of them. i sing instead, "help me to follow You all of my days."
not sure i'm being clear on what i'm trying to say. just that, in worship, don't just sing without really thinking what you are promising God.
love you. (and i really like when you lead worship!)
@grace:
the purpose of putting rehearsal and preparation into a worship set is
1) to bring an offering of excellence before the Lord and
2)to create an atmosphere where people can more easily be receptive to the workings of the Holy Spirit (i.e. as few distractions as possible)
it is funny for me to take credit for these things because it is not really by my power that i do them - i cannot take credit for giftings of creativity. or for the Holy Spirit's inspiration in the preparation.
i see what you mean for sure, but i do struggle. it's not about me. it was never about me. i am simply the 3rd party go-between. and it frustrates me when i feel like people are missing that.
@votemom
i for sure see what you're saying. and i agree that many people think (and sing) without really thinking. hopefully in time we can push to create a culture of worship at our church where this issue is no longer existent...i know i would like that :)
Oh dear. I'm sure I have said each of those phrases to you more than once!
When I compliment you (or anyone involved in a particular worship service that has really moved me) my *intent* is to let you know that the Holy Spirit *has* worked in my heart, because I know that is one of the powerful motivators for worship leaders (that people be moved/taught/instructed/comforted by the Holy Spirit during worship). I want you to know that, in my heart at least, your prayer was answered! The spirit/motivation/intent behind "compliments" I give is never meant as a "you are so great" kind of thing (even though you know I think you are!).
What would you like people to say instead of these three phrases? What do *you* say to a worship leader peer when you are moved during a service they led?
(btw, I think your "it's all God" comment - or something like that - is a great reply to a compliment! It's not rude and it's true)
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