what do i think?

been asking myself that question a lot recently, about various things - some minute and some pretty huge. 

having an opinion has always been a touchy thing for me. i'm paranoid of alienating anyone due to a contrasting opinion and i cope by either choosing to have no opinion, or by allowing the logical thought processes of others to construct my opinion. and i'm realizing that forming my own opinion is hard - not only being able to answer the question, "what do you think?", but also being WILLING to answer it. 

i'm a sucker for flattery too. it's easy to base an opinion on what others think, especially if it makes you look/feel good. but even if what they say is true, do i agree? i think there is definite value in wise council as well, but that's all it is - council. that unless it is spelled out in scripture, i can take or leave.

this is an area where i need to be better. not only better, but braver. it's scary to dig deep and gather all your thoughts and feelings and combine them with truth and facts and form an opinion. and it's even scarier sometimes to share your opinion, dare i say, defend your opinion. 

i can think of only a few instances in my life where i have had an independent opinion and acted on it. too often these days my opinions are influenced by the agendas of others and it's wearing me out. 

#latenightmusings