confession 1:
i haven't liked me lately. i've been feeling like a jerk. i probably was a jerk. sarcasm suits some people, but not me. and when the sarcastic spirit of others rubs off on me...yeah.
does it mean that much to me for people to like me?
that i'm funny?
or should they want to be my friend because i have a good character? duh.
if i had spent as much time with God last weekend as i did with sarcasm maybe His loving spirit would've rubbed off on me a little more.
confession 2:
i realized yesterday that with two particular individuals i see a lot of i have been treating them more like my younger siblings than my peers. they are the same age as my younger brother, but still. they are my peers and should be treated as such. not matter how annoying they may be. i don't want to be the condescending older friend. i want to be their encouraging friend.
confession 3:
the underlying attitude around campus that one is almost guaranteed to meet their future spouse here makes me really upset. unlike many young women, i did not come to this christian college to find a guy. whether people are already in a relationship or are searching for one, i am feeling a great deal of peer pressure right now to date. side comments that i could be set up with so-and-so, or i should go after so-and-so are terribly irritating.
is it so bad that i just want to focus on my schoolwork?
honestly?
plus-what happens to the minority of people who do NOT meet their spouse here? are they some sort of failure at life?
i'm not ready for something like that - and i'm NOT just saying that. i'm really not ready.
i'd rather let God teach me how to love than figure it out on my own.
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7 comments:
gee whiz, how did you get so smart?
you are wise beyond your years. or else i was just very unwise for my years when i was your age.
love u.
I was going to say the same thing as your mom but she beat me to it.
The whole finding your spouse at college thing really irritated me too (I went my first year to a private christian college where lots of couples hooked up) (oops! does hooked up mean something else now?).
haha no pammyc "hooked up" doesn't really mean anything anymore.
really? paul told me not to say "hooked up".
i can't keep track of these things.
exactly. no one says it anymore. like at all.
ruth and boaz 'hooked up' according to mark on an ms video and so began the jedi-ninja's!! hehe
wow...i'm behind too, then. i thought "hooked up" still meant something, not so great, too. i'm getting old.
hang in there, sweet girl.
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